Seven Senseless Church Searching Sins

Believe it or not, many people never find a good church community fit. It’s not because the churches they visit are bad or unhealthy. It’s because the searcher’s process and perspective have been sinfully irresponsible.

Before you object that the “sin” label is a bit strong here, consider these seven common missteps that are devilishly suited to disconnecting you rather than drawing you closer:

1. Searching for the perfect church. The beautiful thing about churches is that they are human organizations, too. They are made up of organic pieces and parts that live in both healthy and unhealthy states. Much like our own bodies, the body of Christ is susceptible to illness, broken bones, and genetic mutations that weaken some parts of it. Don’t dismiss a church community just because it has caught a cold or broken an arm. If the church offers almost everything you feel will move you forward in your faith, give it some time. Who knows, maybe you’re the catalyst the church needs to move forward in its faith as well.
2. Believing this church will be just like your last church. Some people don’t come from a “strong” church background, but most people have had some previous experience – good or bad – with a church community. Be aware that these past experiences influence your current perspectives of any church. Are you giving the churches you visit fair assessments? Remember, each local church is unique.
3. Believing your choice has to be forever. The other beautiful thing about a church’s organic nature is that it changes over time – just as we do. As the old saying goes, “Change is the only constant in life.” Sometimes people and churches simply grow apart. Remember, we live in the most highly mobile culture in the world. Also, brand loyalty and “lifers” are getting less common. So don’t be afraid to commit for the short-term even if you’re not sure what the long-term looks like.
4. Settling for your friends’ church. You may have the nicest, most grace-filled friends on the planet, but your friends’ experiences with their churches might not be your experience. Your spiritual needs might not be theirs. Of course you should accept your friends’ invitation to churches – this can be a wonderful introduction to a new community. But, before you commit, see yourself there without them, and then consider if that church is a good fit for you.
5. Going cold turkey. This should be a no-brainer, but apparently not based on stories we’ve heard. With access to church Websites, online communities, and sermons, no church searcher should visit a community without some sense of what to expect. If you need help deciphering the nuances of a church’s Website, check out our Tips and Tools section at www.thechurchguide.net.
6. Not asking questions. Forget not wanting to bother anyone or being afraid your name will show up on a “contact” list somewhere. If their welcome center volunteers, pastors, or staff are too busy, or worse –ill prepared – to answer some of your questions no strings attached, then you will know right away to look elsewhere. Go on the offense of directing the conversations with some strategic questions. We recommend several first visit and healthy church choice questions under our Website’s Tools section. Bottom line, you need to know on the front end if you and the group synch on the things that are important to you. The only way to do this is to talk to about it.
7. Joining after only one visit. This should be another no brainer, but we’ve heard too many stories about people actually doing this to dismiss the advice. Sadly, not many of these stories have a happy ending. Very few people find “the one” after only one visit. Most of the time we compromise in our church choices. So spend a little more time dating to know what you’re compromising before you jump in with both feet.

Unlike some of the sins on that other list, these seven are really easy to avoid! When your search begins in earnest, the right attitude and approach will increase your chances of success. Go out there and visit with open eyes, ears, and heart!