When It’s Time to Move On

by Reba Collins

If your family is like mine, you’re on the move this summer. School’s out and now’s the time for vacation and family visits. Summer also is the time when many people flat out move – to a new town, to a new job, or to a new church.

If you find yourself needing to leave a church – for whatever reason – here’s some great advice I’ve adapted from Pastor Reed Jolley’s blog. Pastor Jolley is teaching pastor at Santa Barbara Community Church.

Make a clean break and leave deliberately. Don’t slink out the backdoor or pop in and out to “see what’s going on.” When you know it’s time to go, then go. Go find another good church choice and become an integral part of it. (If you’re not sure if it’s time to move on, Ministry Best Practices offers a blog on Five Things to Consider Before Leaving Your Church, http://www.ministrybestpractices.com/2011/02/five-things-to-consider-before-leaving.html)

Be gracious in your going. You may have irreconcilable differences in theology, behaviors, or practices. Changes in your family or work needs may no longer be compatible with your church involvement. Or there may not be any outlet or support for your missional purpose. Perfectly understandable reasons to move on. But move on with grace. Don’t try to justify your leaving by pointing out all the imperfections of your current church. You’ll soon discover that your new church has a few dings and dents, too! Pastor Jolley points out: “It is important that you leave your church graciously and join your new church graciously.”

Go thankfully. In the upheaval of leaving, good or bad, it is important to recognize that our time with fellow believers is always redeemed for God’s purpose. Painful as it is for both parties, we are one Body of Christ knitted together and working toward the same purpose. We grow stronger individually and collectively when we express our gratitude for the work and care that each person gives to another. Here’s Pastor Jolley’s advice on how to leave thankfully: “Embarrassing or awkward as it may be, have an exit interview with one of the leaders, elders, or pastors of the church you are leaving. Explain the reasons for your departure, express your gratitude for their hard work, and commit yourself to praying for the church with which you will no longer be associated. These exit interviews are rare, but they are sweet. Pastors care about people. So when someone comes to me, shares where God seems to be leading her, and gives thanks for her season of involvement at SBCC, I beam with joy. Pastors are not running a business and trying to get more customers. Pastors are shepherds of a flock. On our good days we are not jealous of our sheep; we have their best interests at heart. Still, it is rarely easy to hear someone say, ‘I gotta go….’ In fact, it always hurts. But the pain is softened when we learn that he or she is going to settle in a godly congregation of Christ-exalting believers. After all, we’re on the same team working for the same purposes.”

Moving on from any relationship is never easy. Sometimes it takes months – even years – of wrestling with our emotions over whether to stay or go because of differences or hurts. 

Sometimes we leave rather abruptly out of necessity for a life-stage move, a family situation, or a job change. Either way, you can choose how you leave your current church community. I hope and pray these recommendations help you leave well.

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Read Pastor Jolley’s full blog here: http://www.sbcommunity.org/news/view/18/