What’s Your First “Fix It” Tool – Compassion or Condemnation?

by Reba Collins and William Cowles

In our church visiting, we’ve met many people who’ve told us, “I never thought I’d be a part of a church again.” In listening to their back stories, a common theme of church condemnation and judgment emerges every single time.

One person put it this way: “I grew up memorizing the Bible. I know what the Bible says. But I had never experienced grace. I didn’t even know that grace existed – what it was – until I came here.”

Unfortunately, finding people who’ve been condemned by a church isn’t that difficult. That’s because many churches have made condemnation and judgment their “go to” tools for bringing people to Christ. Well, we’ve found that condemnation and judgment aren’t the best ways to build a relationship with Christ or a new church community. In fact, this approach ends up driving many people way.

Think about it – condemnation before compassion wasn’t Christ’s way, either. He used compassion before judgment every time. With every sinner. Look it up. Righting the wrong is important, but it can’t come first.

Does your church lead off relationships by condemning and punishing sin? Or does it extend love and compassion first, so the sinner experiences the grace that compels them to seek forgiveness for the sin? Many lost, least, and lonely people have rejected "good Christian churches” because judgment and rebuke were their top shelf tools.

Pastor Joey Reed, lead pastor at Grace United Methodist Church in Jackson, TN, offers an insightful and compelling blog on compassion vs. judgment in Compassion: The Tool of Choice for the Discerning Christian. Pastor Joey’s words almost always align with our experience, and we pray these few nuggets will compel you to read his entire blog:

·         “Christians are being seen as agents of harm. And you don’t even have to start with Westboro Baptist. When you make every sin a justice issue, then you become an agent of punishment instead of an agent of God’s compassion. When you fail to offer love and assistance, you become a part of a systematic oppression of a class of people. You may call them sinners, degenerates, and all sorts of other foul names. But God calls them “Beloved.” And he sent his Son to die for them. So stop being mean to them.”

·         “When in doubt, show compassion. What would you prefer someone do for you?”

·         “No matter who you are, never forget that Christ saved his harshest words for the most religious people of his time, the rule-keepers and the law-studiers. And his compassion poured out over the sinners, with whom he ate and lived and loved. Choose compassion, and go from there.”

Remember the old adage, “You’ll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar?” Same thing – you can attract more of the people your church is called to serve when you first extend a hand of compassion for their pain, even if it’s self-inflicted, before condemning their sin.

You also can do yourself a tremendous favor by following Pastor Joey’s thoughtful Facebook postings, especially his nightly prayers. They will fill your heart with the wonder of God’s grace.