5 Signs a Church Can Handle Your Doubts

by Reba Collins

Our American culture is full of conflicting messages. Do low-fat or low-carb diets work best? Is winning a game more important than playing well? Android or Apple?

Christian messages really are no different. For example, are sacrifice and obedience the first steps with getting good with God? Or are grace, love, and forgiveness freely given?

Well, it’s complicated because God’s way is to rely upon people to carry His messages to the rest of the world. But people are imperfect and don’t always agree, and that raises questions and doubts for many of us trying to figure out our faith and beliefs.

Maybe you’ve been turned off by how you’ve seen self-proclaiming Christians behave because you’ve read the Bible, and guess what, that ain’t the way you think Jesus wants His folks to act. But then again, your Christian friends are rock solid in their beliefs and behaviors. Or you’ve felt rejected by a religious group in the past, but another group is offering you love and acceptance now. So what gives?

Unfortunately, not all churches earnestly want to walk beside people who have questions and doubts about the Christian faith journey. They want people who look, act, and believe just as they do. Indoctrination is easy and seamless because new members arrive already equipped to navigate common beliefs and practices. And for many long-time Christians, these church types are the “right” choices for them because they’re comfortable.

But what about people who do have doubts or questions – or even a little hostility toward Christians or Christian churches? 

Fortunately, some churches understand that the spiritual journey can be complicated with many twists, turns, detours, and frustrations. Whether you come to believe in Christ or not, these churches are prepared with support and assistance in figuring out this whole faith thing.

Here are 5 ways churches make room for people who come with more doubts and questions than indoctrinated beliefs and practices. These churches provide:

1.       Safe, supportive group environments where you can wrestle with questions and issues regarding Christian beliefs, worldviews, and lifestyle. Churches that are set up to handle doubts and questions invite you into a small group environment designed for people who are new, returning, or skeptical of the Christian faith. Alpha and Starting Point are two popular, and effective, small group curricula that a lot of churches use. But some groups design their own. The key is that they have a discussion group aimed at exploring your questions more than providing you with their answers.

2.       Small group environments for various levels of faith formation that anticipate struggles, questioning, and uncertainties associated with spiritual growth. Some small group environments truly reflect more of a “school” environment than others. See what types of studies and group curricula they use. There should be a range between deeper Bible studies and life issues groups. Also, ask how the group/class/study is led. Look for discussion environments rather than didactic preaching/teaching.

3.      Worship sermons in which Christianity is compared to other religions or worldviews in a respectful way. Spiritual growth and maturity in the Christian faith doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Churches that are open to your doubts and questions address our complex and highly connected world through a multi-cultural lens and aren’t afraid to talk about the differences between Christian beliefs and other faith beliefs.

4.      A cultural awareness that reflects a love and acceptance of diverse people from different faith backgrounds and experiences, good and bad. Look around the people of the church and see if they reflect the diversity you see in your community, young and old, rich and poor, Christian and non-Christian.

5.      An approach to Christian discipleship that aligns beliefs, practices, and life experiences. Part of sorting through doubts and questions is seeing where the road ahead could lead you. Churches that effectively help people deal with their doubts and questions offer stories of life transformation that sound similar to yours.

While many churches earnestly would like to help people seeking and searching for a spiritual base, they are ill-prepared for an open discussion about Christian beliefs and practices let alone your questions about them. These churches have the will, just not the way, to help sort it all out in light of your life experiences. When you come with doubts and questions, it’s important to first see how prepared and equipped a church is to handle them.

In next Tuesday’s Tools & Tips blog, I’ll give you several search strategies for finding a church community that can handle your doubts and questions.