How to Open Opportunities with Closing Conversations

by Reba Collins 

Wow, the Spirit was moving in worship today. Pastor Dan really brought the heat in his message! I wonder if “our visitor” felt the connections to God as well. Before we leave, maybe I should ask her how she liked worshiping with us. But what if she didn’t like it at all! I did notice that she didn’t really get into the music like everyone else, but what if that because she’s new. Maybe I better not put her on the spot like that. Maybe I should just say “Bye” and leave it at that. Oh, there goes my friend, Jan. I need to ask her something before she gets away.  

Uh-oh, it looks like another visitor has been left to leave without an exit greeting. Many church folks just don’t see their church’s end-to-exit time as part of the hospitality loop. But it very much is. Between the end of the worship experience and the parking lot exit, there are three decisions that the visitor can make: 

1.        Return next week – because the experience was so positive

2.       Maybe try it again some other time – because the experience was neutral

3.       Don’t bother returning – because the experience was negative

Depending on how well the people of your church welcomed, connected, and engaged with your visitors determines if a visitor’s exit is a cake walk or a calculated risk on whether or not to return. Of course you want them to return, so don’t overlook one of the most powerful opportunities you have to influence their decision – the exit greeting. The last conversation a visitor has with you often lingers the longest. So it’s got to be good. 

Luckily, if you’ve been applying any of the techniques from our previous five blogs on hospitality, your church is already setting up the right elements and equipping your people to have really good closing conversations. In fact, we’ve already covered what not to say in last week’s blog.

So, how do the people in the pews and at the exits open the door for a visitor to return easily? How should our churchy folks end visitor conversations well?

Here are five things church members can say to a visitor that close the hospitality loop from beginning to end:

1.        “It’s been great worshiping with you today. I hope to see you again.” Mean this when you say it, and your visitors will feel that they’ve been noticed and valued for their presence. They won’t feel quizzed about their experience or cornered to commit to another visit. This is a first level closing conversation when you’re not sure how your visitor feels about their experience, and it is the BEST way to end any conversation. 

2.       “I hope you’ll stop by our Welcome Center before you leave.” When you know your visitor is curious to know more about your church, encourage them to take the next engaging step. Most visitors either will express interest for stopping by or will offer a reason for not pursuing your offer right away. Honor their wishes and then fall back to the first closing. If your Welcome Center requires a GPS to find it, acknowledge this difficulty and offer to take your visitor to the Welcome Center.

3.       “I’ll go with you and introduce you to our Pastor.” Many visitors are intimidated and uncertain to meet “church leaders” on their own, especially when everyone else is queuing up to shake hands in a receiving line. Offer to walk beside your visitor during an experience that seems normal to you, but unfamiliar to them. By the end of the service, your members should have captured enough information from visitors to make a good, easy introduction to the church’s leadership. (See our blogs, No More Awkward Silence in the Sanctuary! and Overcoming Those Awkward Introductions, for tips on how to help your members do this.)

4.      “This is my friend, Bill. Bill, this is Jan, who is visiting with us today. Jan and I were just going to go meet Pastor Dan. I’ll get with you later, Bill.” One of the most awkward moments in a closing conversation, for both visitors and members, is an unexpected interruption. Often, I’ve been completely ignored after a third person interjected their needs into my conversation. Not good. Be polite to your friends, but value your visitors first.

5.       “Have a great week.” This should be rolling of the tongues of every greeter, usher, and ministry volunteer responsible for exit areas because you really do want people to have a great week. You want them to feel blessed as they leave your place of worship. Oh, and hold the door open on the way out, too. That sends a clear message that your door will be open to them when they come back again.

By the time a visitor leaves a worship experience, most of them have made up their minds whether or not to return. Most church leaders know this, so we tend to focus extra efforts in hospitality on the front end. Closing the hospitality loop, though, is crucial. The exit end of hospitality can help reverse a negative impression as well as reinforce a positive feeling. Encourage a return visit; change a person’s mind about not returning, and leave a lasting good impression. 

Hospitality is a habit. It is a spiritual discipline that we must practice and equip God’s people to embrace with our visitors on their way in, and on their way out.