You Don’t Get When You Don’t Ask

The 7 Secrets of Church Communication that Works

You Don’t Get When You Don’t Ask

by William Cowles

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

Jesus knew it – you have to ask for what you want. 

Think that’s presumptuous? Rude? Think about how you pray. You don’t have trouble asking God for specific help on some really big things – forgiveness, healing, joy, peace. Why do you shrink from asking your fellow church members for far less?

When you’re leading a vital ministry, you can’t expect people to know everything you know about your mission. They don’t know that you need them to provide you with volunteers, food donations, money, transportation, and space. And they won’t know until you ask them for exactly what you want in clear, simple, complete terms.

When you make them guess, you won’t get. People can’t read between your lines or connect your dots for you – you have to explain it to them. Every time. The process is simple. Answer questions before they are asked. 

Whenever you’re asking a person or group for something, first answer these three basic questions so they don’t have to ask you:

1.       How Important is This? What does it do for whom? Is it a task or a job or a chance to use their gifts? This information responds to their need to know “why,” and I explained the powerful importance of that in my blog,  “Why Is Number One!”

2.       When Do You Need It? Is it one-time or every week? Is there a deadline? When does it begin and end?

3.      How Much/Many Do You Need? How much money do you need? How much time? How many people?

When people have specific information, they understand clearly what you’re asking them to do, and they then have enough information to make a good, informed decision. Here’s a recent example of an email from a church’s desperate VBS leader who begs and pleads and grovels all over the place and gets absolutely nowhere:

Hello Again Volunteers!

Vacation Bible School will be starting in just 4 short weeks!  At this point our number of volunteers is low so we really need more of you to volunteer if you're able. Or if you've already signed up, thank you so much! If you have, then maybe you know of a friend or neighbor that would be interested in joining you. We welcome the help of anyone that is completing 6th grade AND up. I saw some very mature teens this past Sunday that are already beginning to lead our church. They would be a great fit for VBS!  

Do you have any idea what you’re being asked for? How many volunteers? What will they do? When? Where? WHY? Clearly, this isn’t the first request for help, and sad to say, probably won’t be the last.

It is a great loss when something so important – growing the love of God in our children, for example – is under-served simply because the church leader in charge doesn’t know how to ask effectively. Reba Collins laid out an effective “asking strategy” in her blog, “How DO You Ask for Volunteers?” Her powerful Do’s and Don’ts apply to way more than just recruiting volunteers.

How well you ask determines how well people respond. Asking the right way the first time opens the door for you to get what you want and need to do ministry effectively.