Your Name, Please. Don’t Make Us Guess.

by Bill Cowles

Nearly every church I visit seems to have a real knack for making a stranger uncomfortable. They don’t do it intentionally, but they certainly accomplish it effectively, and it all starts with the first person who stands up to speak and never says his/her name.

How many times have you heard a Worship Leader begin an opening with – “Good Morning, Church, now let’s get on our feet and praise the Lord!” – as he/she launches into a song? I always want to say, “Wait a minute – who are you and why are you telling me to do this?” As far as I can tell, this disregard for self- identity is due to one or more of three reasons:

1. The Worship Leader can’t remember his/her own name. OK, I know, I know – I have no empirical evidence of this, but I have a lot of suspicions.
2. The Worship Leader has such a huge ego he/she simply assumes everyone knows his/her me. Sometimes, Worship Leaders can be seduced into thinking that the applause is for them. Performers and participants need to remember that there’s only one “Superstar” in church, and his name is Jesus.
3.  The Worship Leader never considered the fact that there might be a stranger in the room – someone who knows no one, and who is looking for some comfort and connection in a new place. In way too many churches, however, this kind of visitor indifference is the dominant behavior.

But, let’s not pick on just Worship Leaders. The same missing identity problem is true of Pastors, of Liturgists (Scripture readers and Response leaders), of Choir Directors, of Children’s Time Leaders, Prayer Leaders, Announcers – of virtually everyone who stands and speaks before the congregation. It’s maddening that all of these people assume that a stranger will know that they are someone who has authority, and will automatically trust that person with their spiritual experience that day.

The problem extends beyond simple greetings, announcements, instructions, and invitations, too. I know many parents and grandparents who wouldn’t think of sending children off to some unknown part of a strange building with an unidentified adult. And, who could blame them for sitting clenched and anxious for the rest of the service? Did they feel good about their experience at that church? Is there any chance of that family coming back? Doubtful.

Our names are our identities, and sharing them is an offering of respect for others. So, give a stranger a break. Introduce yourself.

In my next week’s blog, I’ll lay out some of the tangible benefits of, and even offer some sample scripts for, self-introductions that hit the mark with visitors every time.